with your own penis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize