so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Two words: nipple clamps
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