You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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