I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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