woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
