Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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