You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
