She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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