i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
