I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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