I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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