I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
