You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
