That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
