dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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