i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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