Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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