u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
