she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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