just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
