im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
