Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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