If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
