I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize