a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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