White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
