are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
