No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
