I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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