i will never coherently bang her
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
