Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dear god my vagina.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
