do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
