i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You pole danced in your parka.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
