dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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