How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
