What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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