I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
