pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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