Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
