the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
