Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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