Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
