trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
