i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He did a backflip because drugs
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
