Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Found your dick twin last night
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
