There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
