i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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