Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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