Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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