And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
