I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
