Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
