i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize