You're my little dorito
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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