We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
