she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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