what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
