there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
