That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
