and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize