Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
