I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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