The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
