i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
