I must be too annoying 4 u.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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