I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
