you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
